halcyonthird | ic : voicemail

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ic : voicemail

[pause]
Leave your message here.

[Too bad she can't see that image, Zack because hey, it's not that far off!]

Defes. Defenes. [No, no not defenestrate. Wrong word, Irene. Forces the damn word out slowly.] Def..en..sive types. Regrow faster. I'm not [Why is that word so much trouble right now?] ...that type.

You have no idea.

[Arms ARE important. This is a very good point. She thinks on this for a bit before taking another drink and making a muffled-by-bottle noise of approval.]

[LMAO ZACK. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED AND I THINK IT'S SINKING DUE TO SHEER WEIGHT OF THE BARRELS OF FAIL!COHOL ON BOARD]

You don't want to see me naked. [No, really. You don't. Unless you have a thing for nauseatingly scarred flesh?]

[It's a moment of drunken bonding! It's not the usual for Irene either, but it's about Priscilla. She can afford to be sappy. Have a sappy sigh, why don't you?]

I do, too. Very much.

[Well good. It is not good to be around people you don't like when you're drunk, right? Right.]

Thankyou. [drink] We like each other.

[...aaaand now she's extra curious.]

Who would you pick for her?

[...]

Keeping these arms. Likethemverymuch. Buckles are easier with two.
[Speaking of buckles, they are kind of entrancing. And shiny. And on the floor. Maybe she should be on the floor with them? Yes. Moving to the floor now. There's an audible 'thump' as she just lets herself slide out of the chair.]

Floor's cold.

[Wait. Date. Auction? Money for the good of all? Totally missed the part where it's about her, yes.]

Great idea. 's there a starting bid?

[Because it must be happening right NOW. And she is missing it.]

[She's still a few drinks away from asking. But give her time, if she's not too inebriated to form words, that is. Because she can take that secret to the grave.]

[She's laughing. That may have been a snort. ALSO I DIED AT BEER PITY. IDEK.]

You're drinking beer? That's the problem, then! Ha!

[Man, he’d hate to have seen your prom.]

Soooo, if you’re not defensive, you must be offensssive. Right? [And that sparks his interest even more. And no, the next offer isn’t the way to get a girl, but hell, he thinks it sure sounds nice. Perfect, really.]

Wanna spar? N-Not noooooow, but someday?

[And he can’t help but nod. And “MMHM” rather loudly. Arms are very important; don’t be wasteful with them! They’ll just end up in a landfill somewhere and then it’ll be a landfill of arms and it’ll smell gross. Ew. EW.

[And FAIL!Alcohol is the best kind of alcohol! And look, now that ship is burning as it drowns in the ocean.]

Why do women always… always say that? [His voice goes to a high, rather impressive falsetto.] Oh, I’m faaaat. You don’t wanna see thiiiiiis! I’m so uuuugly. [Aaaand it’s back to normal.] You’re pretty! Everyone would—should wanna see it. [Oh, obliviousness. Isn’t it wonderful? Though, truth be told, no matter how bad the scars, he’d still think she’s pretty. It’s a mental thing.

[Happy sighs are good. Good sighs. He has one, too. It’s a chorus of sighs.]

She… she’s special.

[As if either of them hadn’t confirmed that already. And he smiles.]

Friends? Friends.

[If this keeps up, he’s going to become the Claymore mascot.]

Hmmmmmm. That Na—Naruto kid isn’t bad, but he’s with Pink. Kaien~! Kaien would be AWESOME. Junpei, but they’d need… I dunno… babysitters. They’d get in trouble too much. Wish Arthur was here, still. He was kinda a dick, but they were good together. [Nod nod, mmhm, mmhm.] What about you? Who’d you pick?

[Was that--? Sorry, but Zack’s laughing at you. Hard. HARD.] You’re on the flooooor! [And yes, that IS the funniest thing he heard all day, thank you very much.]

Startin’? Oh, a MILLLLLLION Ivories! I’m paying them! Let’s see someone outbit—er, outbid me!

[After all, someone’s gotta keep you safe from all of the lecherous folks out there. Leave it to Zack, fair maiden!

[And hey, beer pity is… is just wrong! :P]

What’s wrong with beer? HUH?

[OOC:And now I want Claymore-In-Highschool-As-Stereotypes fanart. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO.]

[The odd thing is, there isn't a better thing he could say to Irene. For real.]

I am! [That's pride in her voice. She might be proud of being an offensive warrior, or she might just be proud that you guessed. ALSO SHE'S DRUNK, SO.]

Absolutely! [Drunken enthusiasm GO] I will spar with you anytime. But now. Would be bad.

[Sigh. DRINK!]

Scars. All of us have them. Don't think you'd want to see. 'specially on a full stomach.

Prispeshul. [drink] Friends.

[For the record, Zack would make an awesome Claymore mascot!]

[Have an exasperated sigh.] JUNPEI. Atleasthedleavemealone. Ugh, Trouble. Can'tevenbeginwheredoIstart.

[Know who's kinda a dick? ISLEY. Not drunk enough to say it but still. Just putting that out there.]

Angeal. Or you. But yeah, yeah... Sister.

[...]

If you were drinking the real stuff you'd be on the floor with me. [snort] Beer.

That's alotofivo--

---doyou have that much?

[Shrug. drink.]

You win then. What's the prize?

[...]

Nothing. If you're a lightweight.

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ic : voicemail

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